Let's Go Driving In My (Dad's) Car Car

Picture it: 22-year-old me, still learning how to drive, going for a practice run in my dad's truck, with my mom in the front seat and my dad in the back, in the jump seat.
Now let's take into account the fact that my parents are separated.
Nothing like a Sunday morning driving lesson with a twenty-two-year-old student who is on her third learner's permit (the other ones expired before I could get around to getting my license) and a separated mommy and daddy.

I feel that my family is a little weird.

Lessons I've learned from Ben

Ben is my driver's ed instructor. His name is short for Benton, which I think is kind of cool. Anyway, he has taught me lots of valuable lessons this past week, including:
-"You must always watch out for pebbles on the road, because you never know when one might fly up and go through your windshield and into your mouth. And that would be bad for your health."
-There are Hidden Hazards on the road. Lots of them. Like Moose. And just because we live in the city doesn't mean we won't run into a moose. And if we do, WE WILL DIE.
-"These drugs [like vicodin] can stay in your system for a long time, and then they can mix with other drugs and BLOW YOUR BRAIN."
-Road Rage is a scary monster. If you are not careful, one day you'll be driving home from work and all of a sudden a nice Baptist Deacon will get out of his car and shoot you with a crossbow. And then YOU WILL DIE. Actually, Ben didn't teach us that. The Road Rage video he showed us did. It was very informative.
-"You must be vewy caweful when you dwive, because if you awe not, you will get into a collision. And that could ruin your life." And then YOU WILL DIE.
Also, he taught me that if you wear the same shirt for four days in a row, sixteen-year-old boys will notice. And so will 22-year-old girls.

"When I think of Exhaust Systems, I think of DEATH."

I have a week off. I decided to spend it taking driver's ed.
I hate driver's ed, but I must say that it makes for some interesting people watching. Not since I myself was sixteen have I been surrounded by so many sixteen-year-olds, and with them all the cliches of high school.
We have the socially incompetent nerd who interrupts the instructer to point out flaws in his teaching and who can't help but brag about his intellectual prowess. ("Excuse me, but, actually, most of the things in that video are now illegal in the state of Massachusetts." "That's not true." "Yes it is." "Beeping your horn to warn kids who are playing in the street that you are coming is not illegal." "Fine.") (Also: "I know a lot of people (including myself) got 40s on the test, but did anyone get a perfect score of 41?")
We have the short kid who makes up for his lack of height by being too cool for school and wearing his plaid puma baseball cap perfectly tilted and sideways.
We have the cool girl who is all like, Oh My God, why do I have to do this it's a waste of my time! I could be like, hanging out at the mall or something!
We have the punk from the suburbs. She wears those really tight punk jeans and angry sweatshirts and has a nose ring.
And lastly, we have the delinquent 22-year-old who couldn't be bothered to graduate when everyone else was doing it, so now she's stuck in driver's ed with a bunch of people who weren't even born in the same decade she was, proving to them what can become of you if you don't get your license when you're supposed to: you become that lame-ass 22-year-old taking driver's ed with a bunch of high school kids.
That would be me.

P.S. My driver's ed instructor actually said that about Exhaust Systems and DEATH, and then provided us with several stories of local people who died of carbon monoxide poisoning and They Lived Nearby so clearly if you are not careful IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU TOO. And it probably will. I forgot how morbid driver's ed is.